Today was like yesterday. Still the need to think and be removed. Recently I argued with someone about religion and it wasn’t fun at all. I know everyone is upset with me because of what I believe in. I doubt that it will ever change. But they are my beliefs. I am entitled to them. They are not hasty or born out of anger. Yes I have been angry before and I have been hurt. But my beliefs come from my reasoning and my search for truth. And yes, maybe they will change. But for now this is what they are. All I ask is respect for them. Aside from this, in the argument spirituality was discussed and I most definitely believe that I can and anyone can be spiritual without god. Today I sat in a woods next to a stream and watched leaves float by and listened to the wind and the trees. And I connected to nature on a deeper or higher level than the mere physical. It was quiet and simple. It was honest and pure and beautiful. There were things to be listened to and learned. Some may say that it is god speaking. But I say it is nature itself speaking and connecting. Reaching out. And I am spiritual no less than any Christian or Muslim or Hindu or any religious person. Maybe this whole example means nothing to you who read it. But to me, it means so much.
Some days are just filled with ups and downs. Arguments and bad feelings and then talking and back to normal. Rain and storms and then clarity. Life is full of ups and downs. Highs and lows. Actions and reactions. While the lows suck and they can be miserable I think they are important. I’d go so far as to say they are necessary. We need them to learn. I know I have learned the most about myself when I am at my lowest. I learned today the damage that can be done from shutting down and not letting anyone in on how you feel.
We’ve been together almost seven months now. It’s been an incredible seven months. And I at least know I have learned a lot. At the beginning we never argued or fought. Now we do occasionally. It’s normal though. We argue and we work things out. We try to be better. It may take a few times, but we try. We try to be the best that we can be for each other. Today was a day that was good and bad. Lots of arguing and bad feelings, but we worked it out. We always do.