While I am not sure of the exact date, it was around this time last year that my camera broke. I was out shooting at an abandoned schoolhouse with Brandy one day when it happened. We were walking around the property, which was creepy, taking photos when we saw this car and the garage. As we walked towards it, everything was very still and we felt a really cold spot. It was very eerie and weird. I took this photo and then my camera just shut down, mid shot. I thought it was the battery that had died. I was mad because there were other things I wanted to get photos of. And the battery was not close to being dead. I put my other battery in and it still didn’t work. Come to find out the camera just died. Completely broken. This was the last photo I ever took with it. I’m not sure what exactly made it break, but maybe it was something there at that schoolhouse. Anyway, I was certainly not happy with the situation and eventually I got the camera that I have now.
Not sure why, but when things get hard, really really hard, I go here. The cemetery. Jordan was buried here 8 years ago. I wouldn’t say I ‘feel’ him here so I’m not sure why this is where I run. Its peaceful, quiet & soothing. After he first passed I would spend almost every night out here. A few times I feel asleep, crying for him. Willing to give anything to have him back.
Today was a very hard day. Flooded with emotions & tears. Mostly because I miss him & his loyalty. His friendship & his love. His security. Feeling broken, leaving my heart buried.
Windows down. Music on. Country breeze blowing through my hair. The smell of corn and wet soil. No one around, but those naturally intended.
This was shot on an old lot that held a home. At one time it was a home that housed a family, hopefully wrapped in love and memories. A place that no longer stands. All that’s left is the rubble of broken glass and bricks. An old swing tied in a tree. The sun melting deep in the back, surrounded in cornfields and stale life.
Locked. Guarded. Secure.
I’ve never noticed this place. I think its funny how we notice things only when were ready. I’ve driven by here countless times, apparently not ready until now to see such beauty. As I walked up the lane I had a sense of violation. Not because it was illegal to be there but I felt as if I was violating privacy of someone. An odd feeling I’ve never experienced in a cemetery.