While I am not sure of the exact date, it was around this time last year that my camera broke. I was out shooting at an abandoned schoolhouse with Brandy one day when it happened. We were walking around the property, which was creepy, taking photos when we saw this car and the garage. As we walked towards it, everything was very still and we felt a really cold spot. It was very eerie and weird. I took this photo and then my camera just shut down, mid shot. I thought it was the battery that had died. I was mad because there were other things I wanted to get photos of. And the battery was not close to being dead. I put my other battery in and it still didn’t work. Come to find out the camera just died. Completely broken. This was the last photo I ever took with it. I’m not sure what exactly made it break, but maybe it was something there at that schoolhouse. Anyway, I was certainly not happy with the situation and eventually I got the camera that I have now.
Its not very often I shoot and I’m not happy with anything I see or shoot. Tonight was one of those days. What I saw with my naked eye was not what I captured with my lens. The frustration and anxiety behind the is something hard for others to understand. Its like suffocating. I took a quick break and chatted with my brother Nick, trying to clear my ‘spider web’ like mind and shattering heart.
I hit a lonely back road. The sun was nearly melted into the horizon and dusk was approaching on my left. I got out of my truck, lights off, and set up my tri pod to shoot the sky. A road that’s driven maybe a handful of times a week. Rarely ever at night and of course a car turns down this road…..and drives in front of my lens. I thought to myself angrily, ‘Thanks for ruining my shot!!’
This photo was the outcome. I wouldn’t say ruined, rather just what I needed at that moment!
This morning was hard. I didn’t want to wake up. I had to convince myself to listen to my alarm. I had to tell myself that yes, I do need to show up to work. I have to leave her and this warm bed for lumber and hard work. I wasn’t happy, but I did it. And I was greeted by a pretty sunrise and fog over the cornfields. It was a small little gift to try and make the day a little bit better.
A good portion of today was spent driving. I had nothing to do today and no really to see. So I drove. I drove down twisting country roads, kicking up dust, speeding past farms and blaring music. I thought about a lot of stuff, daydreamed, and cleared my head. Some days I hate driving. And other days I love it. Today was one of those days. I like to explore, I like having the road to myself, I like my music and I like my alone time.
Shot in rural Hendricks County
This is my nightly ritual. I walk out of the warehouse and make the long walk to my car. Start the engine, turn on my phone, and relax for a second. I’ll text Hannah to let her know I’m still alive, then turn on music and make the drive home. It’s nice, music loud, engine humming, speeding past cars and lights, night sky above. On the road, even if only for a brief minute.
On a back road headed towards Lebanon from Cicero. Something I’ve done countless times. From one house to another. From one parent to another. Dressed in Sunday best with two of my favorite people doing one of my favorite things. Driving down barely traveled dirt roads, way out in the country and shooting the occasional photo. This drive helps makeup for the split. The two homes. It was a good Easter though. Seeing a good portion of my family and seeing Hannah’s family. Breakfast with Dad, dinner with Mom, a visit with Hannah’s grandparents and then a visit to her parents house. It only took the entire day and driving to four towns in four separate counties.
Today was a busy day. Went to the bank, got a haircut, went to one of my jobs, went to my other job and when I finally got off at ten I made my way to Danville to see Hannah. On the way out there I noticed how cool the full moon and clouds looked. So I kept stopping to get shots. And then, only a few miles away from Hannah’s house, I was driving down a very dark country road, I failed to see a sharp curve in the road and my poor little Honda ended up buried in mud, 20 yards out in a cornfield. Two hours later, after Hannah’s dad, Josh, and I dug, pushed and pulled, we got it out of the field. It was quite a night and one I won’t forget. Despite all the trouble and feeling like a complete idiot, I’d still have to say it was worth it.I got some great shots and had some fun. The shot above was taken before it ended up in the field.