This year has been a full one. There has been a lot of great moments and some not so great ones. There has been a lot of change. I fell crazy deep in love with a wonderful person. I finished my freshman year of college and moved into my sophomore year. I had a ton of new experiences like going to Gary for the first time, riding a Ferris Wheel, getting fired from a job, getting in a car accident, getting pulled over for the first time, running into a Sheriff because I was trespassing (he was very nice), getting my first tattoo, smoking for the first time, changing my major and my first car died in the parking lot of a gas station. I did a lot of exploring, driving, thinking and saw a lot of new places. I made my first road trip and I saw the Atlantic Ocean for the first time. I got over some really rough thoughts and decided that living was better than dying. I got better at taking photos and also decided that photography was not what I wanted to do for a living. I met new people, including Austrian royalty, and made some new friends. I switched jobs a few times and learned a lot about work and how it plays into life. My mom moved and we said goodbye to a house that had been home for nearly seven years. I read a lot and wrote a lot. I wrote some good stuff and some not so good stuff. I got some good grades and some bad ones. I got into arguments and got a lot better at saying sorry and making up. I learned a lot about myself and how I work. I learned how to express myself, how to deal with some of my issues, how to apologize, how to stand up for myself, and how to listen. Like I said it has been a year of change, growth and new experiences. I sit here and look forward to another year of new experiences, new places, and new people. I see a year of challenges, new memories to be made and new things to discover not only about the world but about myself. This challenge has been a good one. It has definitely been a challenge. I have loved it and hated it. Now it’s finished and I’m glad I did it and finished it. So here’s to a great year filled with great times and great challenges.
Today was kind of a weird day. It was Thanksgiving and my dad’s birthday. It was also the first year that I have celebrated it with my girlfriend and her family, which was very nice. It was also the same year that mom did not cook a proper Thanksgiving dinner, because she had just moved. I actually was unable to have dinner with her. We had dessert instead. It was unusual and the traditions weren’t kept and things felt out of place. But things change and we must change with them.
I really love cities. I have loved them for a very long time. I remember how amazing it was to go downtown when I was little. I never got to go very often and when I did, I was fascinated with everything. I loved the buildings, the lights, the people. They still fascinate me today. I love walking this cities streets. I love the contradictions, dangers, stories and life of this city. How quickly it changes. One minute there are crowds, the next it is deserted. It changes as quickly as the setting sun.
Our paths in life are subject to change. Nothing is settled or for sure in this world. Things change constantly. We grow, rethink things, change our direction, follow new dreams, have new hopes, strive for new goals. This is life. My life is full of change, but I accept all the changes, good and bad. I continue on through challenges that have arisen, dream new dreams and work towards a new goal.
Today it arrived, 8 years 5 months & 5 days. I guess I always assumed that the headstone would make it hurt more. Finalize things. The truth of it though, it brought some much needed, long overdue peace.
I’m not sure how to explain it in words. I never questioned when his parents would have it or what would be on it. The realization of it all came on my birthday. Then I was shown the rough draft and cried. Cried because of the meaning. The existence behind something that had been missing.
Momma Lynch text me today saying it had arrived, and with the text she sent pictures. I cried. I couldn’t breathe. Not from sadness but from the overwhelming feeling of comfort. Obviously I finished what I was in the middle of doing and headed to the cemetery. It was more beautiful in person. Artistically amazing, just as he was. The two circles on the bottom corners are medals that his family was given after donating to save others. ❤ The back, among other items, holds two beautiful pieces left longer than any life or memory. The top left corner holds my exact turtle tattoo. His mom says when he left he took a part of me. The bottom right corner says 'Love, Jordan', my most favorite thing ever. It's traced so it's his handwriting. Signed almost to insinuate this is the end.
His parents and brother did an amazing job putting something together that no family should have to do for a child or younger sibling.
I love you guys to the moon & back and I'm more than certain he wouldn't change a thing on it if given the opportunity.
40,000 Americans die yearly by suicide, making it the 10th leading cause of death. Every 13.3 seconds someone takes their own life, leaving those who love them to live in a whirlwind of confusion, depression and a life without closure.
Down a road I’ve traveled but a few times, I found the remaining structure of what was once a home. Burned down to only its frame. Charred on the sides burning all but the boards & memories. What happened here? Who was affected? Was anyone lost or hurt? What now, for those that have lost? Fire is devastating, possibly runing forever anything that stands in its way.
This photo was taken inside the home, shooting through what was once a window, a barrel was the only color left behind, besides the changing leaves from the fall air.
Summer is truly coming to and end an my favorite time of year is approaching. September is always an interesting month here in Indiana. The weather seems to be indecisvie between Summer and Fall. Some days are warm and sunny others are chilly and cloudy. A few trees begin to change while the rest stubbornly hold onto their greenness. The beans and corn are beginning to dry. Also fall migration is at full force. It’s a fun time and I love it.
A portrait. A good portrait. Or so I thought. I liked this photo and several others I did of Hannah and Alyee. And when I presented them they got torn apart. So have a lot of my other photos, but for some reason it bugged me a little more this time. Maybe because I genuinely thought they were good. I don’t know. I’m not used to criticism. I’ve always just been told my work was good. And now I get told differently. But I can’t argue with the criticism. I see the flaws. I see where I messed up and could have done better. Turn it this way, crop here, avoid that object, open up these shadows, step back, look this way, lighten it, darken it. I need it. But it certainly is a new experience. And that fall from the pedestal isn’t very fun.
It’s an interesting change from last year. Last year around this time I was single, on my own, and a freshman. Everything was new and different. I was also in a group of people that I should not have been involved with and who I thought were different people than what they actually were. And then I met her. It’s crazy how one person can change your life. And now I sit in a new room with her by my side as we read, and do homework and talk. And so many things have changed. I have nothing do to with those people, I’m crazy in love, Marian is like a second home, and the way I look at things has changed. I’ve been through a lot and grown, switched up jobs, been to new places and done new things. But by far the biggest and best change was meeting her and then falling in love with her.
Everything in life can be a vicious cycle and if we are not careful getting caught in it can ruin us.
In the beginning everything starts fresh, grows, changes & dies. Once it dies its gone forever. Whatever it is. God willing it comes back, it will never be the same. Be sure to enjoy life at first sight, because YOU will eventually grow, change & die.
Take too many photos, enjoy every moment no matter how small & know nothing is really ours.