This photo reminds me of my cross country road trip. The endless open, like the ocean. The quiet thoughts while driving during sunset. I enjoyed being on the road. I had more of a feeling of ‘having everything’ than I do now. Going from place to place, no agenda, no destination. Some days I’d give anything to be out there again. Truly living life in such a way of simplicity.
‘When you are in the final days of your life, what will you want? Will you hug that college degree in the walnut frame? Will you ask to be carried to the garage so you can sit in your car? Will you find comfort in rereading your financial statement? Of course not. What will matter then will be the people. If relationships will matter most then, shouldn’t they matter most now?’-Max Lucado
This is where I will begin again. I made a commitment with Chandler and I got away from that. I let ‘life’ get in the way and chipped away a small part of a very important relationship. I want to finish this. Not because I have to. Not because my ‘mommy sat me down spoke firmly to me’. I need to because Chan & I were in this together. In 19 years, Chandler has stood by my side and loved me unconditionally. Chandler has watched me fall and climb back up, never once judging me, but hurting for me because he loved me. I’m sorry I have let you down Chan! I love you bud ❤
Today in photography class we had a lot of free time, so we went to the studio and Professor Foley let us do whatever we wanted. I suggested we do some transparency shots and we got some really fun results. It’s something I’ve done before, but it was fun to do it with a bunch of people. We also did some light painting which was really fun. It was a good class today and everyone had fun, and even Professor Foley was really enjoying it.
While the leaves have not been the most spectacular this year, there are still some very pretty trees around. This is a Norway Maple that had turned a beautiful solid yellow and when you looked up the branches contrasted perfectly.
Today it arrived, 8 years 5 months & 5 days. I guess I always assumed that the headstone would make it hurt more. Finalize things. The truth of it though, it brought some much needed, long overdue peace.
I’m not sure how to explain it in words. I never questioned when his parents would have it or what would be on it. The realization of it all came on my birthday. Then I was shown the rough draft and cried. Cried because of the meaning. The existence behind something that had been missing.
Momma Lynch text me today saying it had arrived, and with the text she sent pictures. I cried. I couldn’t breathe. Not from sadness but from the overwhelming feeling of comfort. Obviously I finished what I was in the middle of doing and headed to the cemetery. It was more beautiful in person. Artistically amazing, just as he was. The two circles on the bottom corners are medals that his family was given after donating to save others. ❤ The back, among other items, holds two beautiful pieces left longer than any life or memory. The top left corner holds my exact turtle tattoo. His mom says when he left he took a part of me. The bottom right corner says 'Love, Jordan', my most favorite thing ever. It's traced so it's his handwriting. Signed almost to insinuate this is the end.
His parents and brother did an amazing job putting something together that no family should have to do for a child or younger sibling.
I love you guys to the moon & back and I'm more than certain he wouldn't change a thing on it if given the opportunity.
40,000 Americans die yearly by suicide, making it the 10th leading cause of death. Every 13.3 seconds someone takes their own life, leaving those who love them to live in a whirlwind of confusion, depression and a life without closure.
Oliver thought I should wake up at 6am today. I thought Oliver was crazy and with his persistence I was up and putting shoes on at 630. I was out the door, driving in the warm morning air. The sky started to lighten and the fog that had set in hours before, began to lift from its short slumber. The country promised such soft contrast.
Thank you for your puppy persistence Oliver, sunrise was stunning.
I was headed off to work when this photo caught my eye. This was taken at the last stop sign out of the neighborhood.
I often find myself ‘framing’ everything as if it were a ‘shot’. This needed no framing, only to be seen.
I love the simple beauty it holds. The longing sky, the contrast of the grass & sky and the emptiness. Nothing around. Nothing in sight.