This kid. My goodness. What a joy to have and watch grow & learn. He is such a handful but every time I look at him in frustration, I remember the joy and laughter he brings me, and that certainly outweighs it all.
This afternoon we spent creekside. Possibly his most favorite place. He is so funny romping through the water chasing his ball down. After giving them both a bath when we got home, he crawled up in this chair and passed out in the sunshine.
Huge Thank You to Bill @ Bill Crabtree Silver Labs in Muncie Indiana. Raising & breeding such beautiful, loving, smart labs!
Today Hannah told me to meet her at a park after I got off work. So I made my way to the park and then she arrived and told me she had a surprise. She set up the best little picnic for us. Basket, blanket, flowers, even a candle. We set up in the shade and ate some great food that she got and enjoyed the weather and the birds and each other. It was perfect and one of the cutest things she’s done.
This photo is not from today, but it carries with it some things I feel I should say. I’m just gonna go for it. I think we get to choose how we look at the world. We do not get to choose what happens to us and what life throws at us. Life is rough and it is dirty and mean and cold. It can get very shitty very quick. But it is also beautiful and warm and full of love and passion and goodness and ecstatic joy. I have known some extreme lows and some great highs. And I have learned a lot. I’m learning that we get to control how we perceive things. And that is powerful. We get to choose whether we will be happy or angry or sad or miserable. We all have bad days. I get it. I’ve had some bad days. Sometimes we just need a bad day. We choose it. We choose to be self-centered and feel low. We just do it sometimes. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. But all those other days. We get to look at them differently. We get to look at the joys and the beauty of this insane world around us. I went to the zoo and there were annoying, bratty little kids everywhere and stupid parents and unpleasant people. I could have let it ruin it for me. But no, I saw seals and birds and orangutans and fucking sharks and it was fun and I had a good day. It is to easy to have a bad day. It is so easy to get into that low, pitiful state. I know, because I did it all the time. I still do sometimes. But I have learned to look at things differently. There is a quote I am learning to take more and more to heart. It will be my final thought on this subject. It goes, “Stuff your eyes with wonder. Live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.” Go see the world because, my god, we don’t have much time and I want to have more great days than bad ones at the end and I hope you do too.
Got into Las Vegas earlier today. Caught a quick dinner with some friends, walked about and gambled for a bit.
As we were walking back to the hotel I saw this less fortunate man pushing a wheelchair walking about the streets alone. His shirt read, “I haven’t won my millions yet!” Rather fitting for where I am. How true and most of us won’t. What we have to remember is ‘our millions’ isn’t always financially. Being rich is having friends and family. People to tell us ‘I love you’. Support from those surrounding us. People to hold us while we cry. Laugh with us. Through all my struggles I still feel and believe I’ve already hit my millions. Thank you to all those who’ve made me rich.
I got to spend the day with more of my family and Hannah. My grandparents came up from Florida this weekend and will be staying at my Dad’s for a week or two. I always love seeing them, which isn’t often enough. It’s always a good time, with lots of laughs, stories, games and an incredible amount of great food. One of our traditions with them is to play dominoes, which is played with a lot of over-confidence, bragging, smack-talk, yelling and laughing. The winner gets to sign a trophy and have even more bragging rights (I’ve signed 9 times, the most on the trophy). It was a great day full of a lot of fun.
I love music. I need music. It eases my thoughts, helps me see and quiets my anxiety. I wake up with music. I fall asleep with music. I have it all day. I love putting on Pandora, putting in ear buds and shooting away. Anything really, but my current addiction is Bon Iver Radio.
‘Where words fail, music speaks’