As I was looking through old photos and reliving old memories and adventures, I found this photo. It is an old favorite taken last year. Me and Brandy went to shoot downtown and found a train track while we were walking around. Of course we followed it and I was able to get this shot of her. It was taken in the fall among some really great days of shooting. She has been one of my biggest inspirations when it come to photography and was the reason I decided to do this challenge in the first place. We have had some great times together and many of these days of shooting and being with each other helped me out of a lot of bad feelings. We have always been close and I have always looked up to her and it’s not just because she can make a great photo. It is because I have seen what she has been through, more than anyone should have to deal with, and it inspires me to keep going and trying. You mean more to me than you know Bran and I love you.
Remember how I said everyone is an asshole. Well that applies to life too. Life itself is an asshole. It always seems like there’s something. There’s always something dragging you down. As soon as something good happens, something bad happens. Life kicks you in the balls, laughs in your face and then keeps kicking. Sorry if it sounds pessimistic, but it’s the truth. Life just piles and piles up on top of you, slowly crushing until you can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t do anything. Life, work, school, tests, grades, assignments, relationships. You get depressed, paralysed. Bad thoughts creep in. Thoughts of ending things. You don’t care if you’re alive or not. Everything seems insignificant. You just want to sleep and not wake up. You want to pass out just so things will stop for awhile. I and many others have felt this and thought these things. And it pisses me off. I guess I know I’m a little better because I’m angry. I feel something at least. I’m furious that life is this way. That life does this to people. That life tears you apart and then expects you to keep going like nothing happened. It’s not right. I’m furious and I want to punch life in the face. I want to fight back, but really what can I do? Nothing. So we stand up, brush the dirt off, and keep going, pretending that everything is okay and that we can do this.