After finally finishing a hard and somewhat boring book, I got to move on to a new book, this one in particular. It feels good to relax with a good book, one I actually enjoy. It helps me relax and take a break from everything else going on. I get to just live in another world for a little while.
Every now and then I will have scenes, ideas or images pop up in my mind. A lot of times they just pass or they really aren’t worth putting effort into developing. And then there are others that I really want to make a reality or they refuse to be ignored. Today for the first time I had a story idea and image come up together. They went hand in hand. So I sketched out the image in my head and started writing. I didn’t work for very long but it was nice to be doing something creative like that again. I never have time for stuff like this anymore. So being able to just draw and write was very nice tonight.
I find it more common than not that we share what we are often afraid to disclose about our self, with those close to us.
We don’t disclose our darkest of demons because we live in fear of judgement, betrayal, loss of respect, even if those demons are ones we didn’t create. Being trapped in your own personal hell of thoughts & emotions will slowly kill what makes you you.
Listening to someone share their thoughts, someone I thought I knew. Seeing someone I care about be so vulnerable. Hurt so badly. Crying with them, not because of their tears but because I could feel the pain in their heart. Their mind. It was just as real to me as it was to them. I wonder how things would be different between us had we gone ‘demon hunting’ together.
I don’t know that I’ve ever hurt for someone the way I hurt for you. Seeing your pain. This changes nothing, other than making sense of some things. I also happen to love fishing especially with a Snoopy fishing pole!!
I’ll never be able to give you those 10 seconds or more that you often dream of but I can promise you I can give you love & trust. Fear is only felt until you realize the love and trust are real.
Thank you for loving me enough to trust me.
‘It took awhile for her to figure out that she could run, but when she did she was gone, long gone, long gone.’
I’ve always been pretty good at running. Figuratively and literally. Perhaps that’s why I love sunsets so much. It signifies an end. A new start, just hours away. A chance to run and start over.
Not all running is bad. I know that your ‘problems’ will follow no matter where you end up. However, sometimes leaving what is comfortable is the only way to find out what your limits are.
The quote I started with is from the song by Keith Urban, Stupid Boy.
If you want a happy ending, it depends on where you stop the story.
I’ll be blunt. Tonight I felt like shit. Life just kind of piled on top of me again. So I needed something to help me out. I had to force myself to find something comforting. So I grabbed a new book that I had gotten over the weekend. Books have always been a comfort to me. I have always been able to open them up and bury myself in the pages. I dive into the story and forget about everything else. And sometimes it feels so good. To just escape for a little while.