‘When you are in the final days of your life, what will you want? Will you hug that college degree in the walnut frame? Will you ask to be carried to the garage so you can sit in your car? Will you find comfort in rereading your financial statement? Of course not. What will matter then will be the people. If relationships will matter most then, shouldn’t they matter most now?’-Max Lucado
This is where I will begin again. I made a commitment with Chandler and I got away from that. I let ‘life’ get in the way and chipped away a small part of a very important relationship. I want to finish this. Not because I have to. Not because my ‘mommy sat me down spoke firmly to me’. I need to because Chan & I were in this together. In 19 years, Chandler has stood by my side and loved me unconditionally. Chandler has watched me fall and climb back up, never once judging me, but hurting for me because he loved me. I’m sorry I have let you down Chan! I love you bud ❤
Today we decorated the Christmas tree at my mom’s house. This tree was kind of special, as it was the first tree in the new house, it was the first real tree that Hannah had gone to cut down and it was the first tree that we decorated together. We also strung popcorn that night, which was another first for Hannah. I had a lot of fun and it was nice sharing these traditions with her. The tree turned out beautiful and I think a great Christmas is in store for the new house.
It’s interesting how a queen size bed once seemed just right for me and now it’s too big. It now feels empty when I lay in it and the pillow next to mine is empty. When her head isn’t resting on it. It feels empty when I don’t feel her next to me. We’ll be apart a lot this summer with work and her being an hour away. It’s weird how about six months ago it was hard to share a bed with her and now it’s beginning to be odd if we aren’t in the same bed. So tonight I fall asleep with the pillow next to me empty, wishing it wasn’t.
This week has been a week of supposed storms, that haven’t turned up. I always used to hate storms, but now I kind of like them. Today I wished it would have stormed. I heard thunder, but it never rained. But it was okay, me and Hannah treated it like a rainy day anyway. We both had the day off and we relaxed watching TV, making pancakes, cleaning, reading and watching movies. It was a good day and good time spent together.
Unusually drawn to this photo. It’s one of those that I knew I was taking, but didn’t know the capacity of it at the time.
Not sure why THIS one photo sticks out to me out of the 100+ photos I took on this beautiful Wednesday. Many would argue there are others far better than this.
This was shot just as sunrise was peaking well over the horizon. The air was chilled. People rushing off to wherever.
I was up at 6am. Another restless night of sleep or lack thereof. I was OK with the tradeoff.
I think its the knot I’m drawn to. Right in the center. Holding it all together.
Photo was shot in RAW with no edit.
Today a good portion of my family got together for a family dinner at my Dad’s house. It was great to have that many of us together, which can be quite an accomplishment with my family. We had great wine, beer, food and company. It was a great time. It’s always a great time when we get togther. There’s lots of laughing and jokes and some chaos. I love my family and I love having a big family. My family is huge part of my life. They have always been the people I’m closest to and there’s always someone I can go to in my family. Yeah we fight and argue and there’s always drama, but I wouldn’t change a thing about my family. I love you all so much.