I know, another random, out of place, photo. But it has meaning for today. Today we officially moved out of the house and into a new one. Today it was a little bit harder because it was official. Also the man who bought the house turned out to be real, pretentious, asshole who doesn’t deserve the place, but whatever. I ran across this photo recently. This is the view from my bedroom window, which I used to wake up to every morning. That sun shined on my bed every morning and occasionally the moon would light my room too. It has been the frame for a lot of photos. I have spent a lot of time looking, watching, dreaming, and thinking out this window. It’s a great view and I hope it will continue to be appreciated. I took one last look out that window today.
This is where the majority of my classes are this semester. It’s called the Evan Center and is home to the College of Osteopathic Medicine and the School of Nursing. It’s clean and new and very nice. But it’s a medical building and it now houses the art department. Our hall caught on fire and was demolished and will now be turned into a parking lot which is sad and angering but what am I going to do. Instead of building us a new building we were stuck in the unfinished section of this building and we have class as they paint the walls and wires dangle from the ceiling and what is left of Fisher is packed in scattered boxes. I like Marian and I love my professors (they are why I am here and not somewhere else), but it’s annoying to be on the bottom of the list. These amazing professors are stuck in a cramped, old building and our classrooms are unfinished. We are an after thought and it seems slightly wrong that the arts are on the bottom at what is supposed to be a liberal arts university. But it’s not anything new, having art at the bottom. Why should they support art? It doesn’t draw in lots of students and lots of money like a college of medicine does. Why in the world would they want to support art, the most primal and integral form of communication that humanity has and that allows us humans to express our humanity in profound and diverse ways. Maybe I’m just overreacting, but it’s frustrating. It’s frustrating to see a college spend millions on medicine and nothing on art, art history, photography, graphic design and art therapy. But oh well. My rant is over.
Tonight I was a little overconfident in myself. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a proper anxiety attack. But tonight I had one, in one of my trigger locations. I thought I would be fine, since it had been so long. I was wrong. I had an anxiety attack with all the sucky symptoms. It was frustrating, but it passed and I took some medicine to help. I wouldn’t call it a step back, just a reminder that it’s still there. I don’t think it will ever really go away. I just get better at knowing myself and how to take care of myself.